I recently went to a friend’s wedding. Everything was going well and then the DJ asked the couples to join the bride and groom on the dance floor. I looked up and I was sitting at my table by myself while my friends danced with their significant others. I knew I was the fifth wheel but it didn’t feel like it until that moment (my friend’s wedding was fantastic and my other friends and their partners are amazing, so this moment was quite brief).
If you’re single, you have probably heard countless people tell you to “enjoy your singlehood” and “it’ll happen when the time is right” and “just wait on God” and “just focus on preparing yourself to be a spouse” and the list goes on. Although all those things make sense, it’s usually coming from people who are in relationships, and sometimes I want to respond, “you don’t know my struggle.” I think people in relationships forget what’s it’s like to be sitting at a table by yourself at a wedding reception or on a girl’s trip listening to your friends check in with their mates while you sit silently playing candy crush. It sucks and it’s okay if you agree with me that it sucks, in fact, I want you to agree with me. Single people do not need someone to make them feel better about being single. We are aware there are perks that come along with being single, but we’re also aware that there are perks that come along with being in a relationship. We’ll have moments of not wanting to be single and hopefully get over it and continue living life.
Yes, I’m waiting to be found by my husband (while actively making myself available to be found lol). Yes, I’m waiting until I get married to have sex. Yes, I’m waiting on God’s perfect timing. With all of this waiting, it is important to remember to live. Many times as single people, we spend so much time focusing on the waiting or what life will be like after the wait is over. Every event we go to becomes a potential dating mixer. We love church conventions because we’re hoping someone brings along a cousin you’ve never seen before who recently got saved. I am 100% guilty of this and found myself missing out on so much. Instead of living in the moment and enjoying what’s happening, I was busy checking the door making sure I didn’t miss any potential candidates (I wish that weren’t true lol).
Recently, I found myself more focused on what I want for myself in terms of career goals, spiritual growth, and just overall happiness (I know, this is what people always say, but you have to come into the knowledge for yourself). My singleness has become less important. For me, it took doing things on my own and going places by myself, which reminded me I actually like myself and enjoy my own company. I am happy with where I am and who I am. I have always went places by myself but I make it a point to do it more often and really reflect on where I am in life, and what I’m working towards for myself, no man attached.
A few weeks ago, I went on a cruise with some of my friends from college and I was so excited we would all be able to spend some time together. It had not occurred to me there would be 2000 other people on the ship and it was not until our second day that one of my friends brought up the variety of potential candidates who were a part of that 2000. It was then that I realized I hadn’t even thought about meeting guys on the ship. I was living in the moment, focused on just spending time with my friends, unbothered by the wait. The wait will be there until God says otherwise, and I will continue to live during and after the wait.
Sidenote: Guess who caught the bouquet at my friend’s wedding? This girl! So maybe the wait will be over sooner than I thought it would? Maybe you know him and he just needs you to introduce us? (see how easy it is for these moments to come and go lol)
Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: