Have you ever been on a date so terrible, it made you consider being a nun? Okay, this date wasn’t that bad but it wasn’t good, like, at all. My name is Jocee, and this is my story.

He was almost seven feet tall, caramel complexion, muscular build, with a few dreadlocks on the top of his head that were brown at the tips. They had been freshly re-twisted which sounds like a good thing but it wasn’t. He had on a muscle shirt with joggers that were tighter than my jeans and if I had the courage, I would have walked out of the lobby of that movie theater then but I told myself I needed to be open minded and just because I didn’t like how the gift was wrapped, didn’t mean it wasn’t a gift. After all, he had drove over an hour to go to the movies with me which sounds sweet but was a red flag. None of our conversations had been very in depth, so he really didn’t know me well enough for such a sacrifice to be considered sweet. But again, I’m trying to be open minded, maybe the Lord told him something that He didn’t tell me.

As soon as we sit down in our seats, I could already see what kind of afternoon it was going to be. Some people enjoy talking throughout a movie. I’m not necessarily opposed to this if I know you and we can laugh about things together. This was not one of those situations. He commented on the commercial before the movie regarding his car being better than the car that was in the advertisement. He commented on the commercial about tipping the waitress (dine in movie). He commented about putting his phone on silent. This was all before the actual movie came on! I’m sure he was nervous like I was, and perhaps this was his way of trying to loosen things up but it was not working. The movies is not a good first date, especially if you’re not doing dinner too, and to add insult to injury he asked what I enjoyed doing and the movies was not on my list (although I do enjoy the movies), so a part of me thinks he just wanted to see this movie. Once the movie got started, things didn’t get any better.

At some point he alluded to us being in a relationship and him protecting me from bad guys… Sir, I don’t even know if I would want to be your friend. He asked what I would do if he was as short as one of the characters in the movie, which to me felt like he thought he was better than because he was over six feet tall. Little did he know, I would have much rather been sitting next to a guy who was five feet and would let me enjoy the movie in peace.

All of this was annoying if nothing else, but the worst part of this whole date was when I realized he was using the same balled up tissue to repeatedly wipe his nose. I’m not sure if it was allergies or a cold, but I know it was unattractive. This was pre-pandemic, so I wasn’t nervous about COVID-19, but I wanted no parts of any other germs he had. Y’all, I’m not talking about one or two wipes; he had to wipe multiple times. I have really bad allergies year around so I know what a struggle it can be, but that balled up tissue was attempting to kill me softly. Then he looked over at me and I’m pretty certain he was trying to figure out how he was going to put his arm around me. Let me tell you, God was with me that day because I don’t know how I would have reacted if he had figured it out. Maybe slide down in the seat or act like I had to go to the bathroom, pretend I got a phone call, and maybe even holler, I just don’t know. But I do know, there was no way he was touching me.

Soon enough the movie was over and I was praying he didn’t want to go anywhere else. It would have made sense considering he drove that distance and we really didn’t get a chance to talk (well, he talked), but the Lord smiled on me again, and we said our goodbyes. I honestly would have agreed to go sit in a coffee shop or go get ice cream, hoping it would make up for the movie but I’m grateful I didn’t have to. We texted a few more days after that but eventually I had to tell him I wasn’t interested. I did feel kind of bad but I’m too old to waste my time or somebody else’s. He wasn’t a terrible person, he just wasn’t my person. So that was my not so good date. What’s yours?

*Certain details have been changed out of respect to the other party involved 

Wasted outfit