Sundays With Rae

a blog for women by a woman who is trying to get her life together while still loving Jesus

Leaning into Good

I’m really good at being sad. I’m good at getting through disappointment. I revel in grief. But joy and happiness and all the other good things, I struggle to bask in. I’m always grateful when good things happen but at times it makes me quite uncomfortable. I don’t know if it’s the attention that comes with accomplishments or I feel like I don’t deserve whatever it is I have received; it’s all feels like too much to take in.

I never want to be seen as someone who is boastful or thinks of herself as better than others. Other people do great things; I am no different than they are. Why should I be celebrated and recognized when others are doing much, much better? I have struggled to answer that question but I have also come to terms with not having an answer. I do amazing things worth celebrating and I don’t have to celebrate by myself. I don’t have to do it quietly. I don’t have to do it quickly. I can stand firm in the good and feel good about it.

Jonathan McReynolds made a post a while ago basically patting himself on the back. Not to broadcast his accomplishments but to simply acknowledge them. Too often we downplay our success or our happy because we’re worried about what others will say. And it’s true; many may have things to say about why you’re happy or how you’re being celebrated, and that’s okay. When I talk to people about grief, I usually end up telling them to be okay with where they are and don’t let anyone tell them to be anywhere else. I’m going to take my own advice and be okay being happy, being celebrated, doing the celebrating, embracing the good, and not let anyone (myself included) tell me otherwise.

Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. (NLT)

September 2021

Celebration Time

Romans 12:15 says “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Lately I’ve found myself doing a lot of the former. A while ago, I wrote about standing with your friends while they’re in the fire, but I’m learning how important it is to stand with them when the sun is shining on them and the breeze is blowing just right. With life still being what it is, it makes me feel good to know people are still out here accomplishing goals and just being happy.

Whether it’s a new job or a new relationship or a new apartment or a new move or new book or a new LLC, it doesn’t matter, rejoice with your friends! Send a congratulations text, take them out to dinner, send them Uber Eats, be one of their first customers, give them a book to put on their coffee table, share their post, celebrate your friend. I don’t consider myself to be very celebratory but I’m trying to be more intentional about acknowledging other people’s wins. Sometimes we have no idea how impactful a few words or a small gift can be, but it truly is the thought that counts. It’s also important to note, that it doesn’t have to be limited to close friends. Maybe you all only know each other through social media or maybe you went to high school together and haven’t said much to each other since then, but you can still reach out to them and let them know they’re seen and celebrated. A “like” or “love” reaction, a comment under their post, a picture with their product, it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant.

I’m grateful I’ve had people who were with me at my lowest of lows, who showed up for me when I was a complete mess. I’m also grateful I don’t have to enjoy my highest of highs by myself. It makes those special moments even more special when I am able to share them with others. So that is my goal with the people in my life: make the special moments more special by celebrating them.  

October 2020

Broken Things Work

December 2019

Yep, those are my car keys. I was attempting to open a package and without much force, the silver part went flying across the room. My spare key was in Florida (blame my parents) so my mom overnighted it to me, but I still had to go to my second job. How was I supposed to drive my car? I figured I’d try to use the broken key. It took a couple of tries and required a lot more effort than usual, but the car cranked! Over the course of the next 24 hours, I was able to turn my car on and off several times using the broken key. It took longer than usual, I had to watch what I was doing, I had to be careful (the black part came completely apart one of the times), but it worked. When my spare key finally arrived, it felt so good to turn the key in the ignition without worrying about steadying my hand so the silver part wouldn’t fall out. The broken key worked, but a key that wasn’t broken was better.

After my dad died, I took a week off, maybe less from school. I got all my assignments done and managed to graduate with a fairly decent grade point average and hopefully helped a few people along the way. I made it through, but I certainly wasn’t whole. I was my broken car key. I worked, I turned on and I turned off but I did not do it with the ease I once knew. It took longer to get things done and I found myself being more careful, afraid my emotions would get the best of me. Too often, we settle for broken keys. We think because we made it through the day, we did good enough. Family and friends check in with us and we list all these things we’ve accomplished, not willing to admit how much of a struggle it was. Or if we do admit it, we’ve accepted it as our life. We’ve decided there is no spare key coming to make life easier.

What if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way? I’ve said this a lot of times in one way or another and I’ll keep saying it: God wants you to live a happy, whole life. Bad times come, but it doesn’t have to be life as you know it. You don’t have to settle for a broken key barely getting the job done. You are deserving of a fully functioning key that doesn’t require much effort. Upgrade your life and get a push start! Just because something is working, doesn’t mean it can’t work better. Pray, go to church, go to therapy, read your bible, take that trip, read that book, take time off, turn off your phone, meet a friend for lunch. Whatever it takes, live life whole.

Luke 17:19 And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole.

 

 

Breathe

Take a deep breath in, hold it, now let it out. Do it one more time. Take a deep breath in, hold it, now let it out. When’s the last time you stopped and simply breathed? Not because you have to in order to live, but just to remind yourself that you’re alive? That you’re here in this moment?

We have so much going on in our lives. Once we’re done with one thing, we’re on to the next. We’re securing the bag, doing the work of the Lord, accomplishing goals, achieving success. We’re holding our breaths waiting for the next best thing, never really living in the moment. If we’re not careful, we will have collected memories without experiencing them. Last night I went to a gospel concert and in the middle of worship, I took the time to breathe, to be present where I was. I didn’t worry about who was coming on stage next, I was there and could feel myself alive.

This week I’m encouraging you to breathe. Take a deep breath in, hold it, and let it out. We often think of needing to take a breath when life gets overwhelming and things aren’t going so good but be sure to breathe through the good times. They too deserve to be lived in.

Genesis 2:7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

October 2019