Sundays With Rae

a blog for women by a woman who is trying to get her life together while still loving Jesus

Seek Help

I would describe myself as a fairly independent person. I don’t ask for help very often, not because I think it’ll make me look weak, but it just seems like more of a headache than I want to deal with. I would have to explain what I need help with and how I can best be helped. And there is always the risk of someone agreeing to help and not following through or simply not being as competent to help as you thought they were. Or sometimes you just can’t find someone willing to help. Again, a headache. If something needs to get done, I’d rather do it myself. As true as this is for me, I was having a conversation with my father figure and it really made me reflect back on various points in my life where having help made life so much easier.

More than anything else, I am likely to ask for advice. I enjoy talking through situations and weighing my options with people who know me well and have valuable input to add. Through the years I’ve had to balance this with seeking God first (where all of my help comes from), while not ignoring the wisdom of the people God has placed in my life. Whether it’s job related or romantic relationships or spiritual guidance, I’m blessed to be in a position to call on multiple people for help. I remember when I wanted to be a nurse and I talked through it with a friend and she helped me realize, I liked the idea of being a nurse more than I did the actual job of being a nurse. This forever changed the trajectory of my life because I sought out the help.

Asking for advice is one thing, but when it comes to asking people to actually do something for me… That’s another story. If I’ve asked you to do something for me, it’s usually because I’ve spent five hours trying to figure out how I could do it on my own, to no avail. One time, I walked over two miles back to my apartment in the middle of a Tallahassee summer day after dropping my car off at the car shop because I didn’t want to ask someone to give me a ride home. Keep in mind, I don’t like exercising so that definitely wasn’t the motivation and I had more than one friend I could’ve called on. When my friend eventually found out, she made me call her when I needed to pick my car up so I wouldn’t have to take that walk again. I’m still forever grateful for her. Although I never want to feel like I’m inconveniencing someone, I’m learning that when asked, a lot of times people don’t mind helping.

I do my best to help where I can and recently I’ve attempted to give others that same opportunity when it comes to how they can help me. Even though it is difficult at times, it is worth it. In a lot of ways, America is a “do it yourself” society, but God has created us to be relational beings who are to be of help to one another. So no gold star for you (or me) because you did it by yourself. Don’t just give help, but seek help.

Proverbs 11:25 The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. (NLT)

August 2020

Do it for the Lord

Some years back there was a video of a little girl saying she wasn’t going to do it for the vine but eventually she does (one of my favorite videos). In our daily lives we are presented with a host of opportunities to do something for the Lord, and we don’t. It’s not comfortable, the other person doesn’t deserve it, or perhaps they do deserve whatever treatment you’re giving them, it’s not in the budget, it’s not part of the plan, or maybe you just don’t want to. I’ve been there more times than I want to count and often times felt justified in my not doing. But that’s not how God has called us to live our lives.

Colossians 3:23 says “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.” As to the Lord. As to the Lord. One more time for the Holy Ghost, as to the Lord. Not my comfort level, not someone else’s “worth,” not my plans, not my budget… as to the Lord. One of my favorite songs is “For Your Glory,” by Tasha Cobbs and the lyrics say “For Your glory, I will do anything…” And every time I sing that part, I feel it deep down in my bones.

Unfortunately, that feeling leaves when my mom ask me to look up her flight information when she is just as capable as I am or when I’m asked to teach Sunday School when I would rather sit in the Senior class. “For Your glory, I will do anything…” I’m not doing my mother or the church a favor because everything I do should be as to the Lord. All for His Glory.

And I know: you’re ALWAYS doing for others. Shouldn’t you be allowed to say no sometimes? You definitely should say no sometimes but if you say yes, don’t blame anyone else because you made the choice to help. When we go out of our way or allow our day to be inconvenienced to help someone, we don’t get brownie points. Jocee, you don’t get brownie points. It’s my reasonable service; the least I could do because I’m doing it as to the Lord.

So when you’re asked to do something, especially when you don’t want to, remind yourself to do it as to the Lord. Don’t half do it because they asked at the last minute. Don’t expect something in return because you did it when you didn’t have to. Don’t complain about doing it. Do it as though God Himself were asking you to. Do it for the Lord.

December 2018