Sundays With Rae

a blog for women by a woman who is trying to get her life together while still loving Jesus

God’s Work

For as long as I can remember, I’ve enjoyed working with children. When I had to get community service hours in high school, I volunteered at daycares and a children’s shelter. When my cousin had her first son, I was only fifteen years old but treated him like my very own; changing diapers, feeding him, rocking him to sleep, dressing him, etc. I am slightly obsessed with my goddaughter and her sisters. My father figure asked me what I was passionate about in life and the only two things I could think of was loving Jesus and helping children. I always knew I would work with children in some capacity.

I tell people children under five are my favorite age group to work with because there is something magical about witnessing the simple things in life bring one joy and the feeling I get while observing little humans make connections in this big world can’t be described. Not much gets me excited, but to be able to play a role in how children see themselves and the world is one of the many things I’m most proud of about myself. I am grateful I was able to do it as a therapist and a special education teacher, but to be able to play this role as a Pre-K teacher makes my heart smile. I am truly living my dream.

I was exhausted after the first day; I mean if I sat long enough I knew I was going to sleep but I couldn’t wait to do it all over again the next day. I can’t remember the last time I looked forward to going to work. I told my fiancé that this is the feeling I have been longing for in regards to the work I do. I am sure I helped some children along the way and made an impact and whatnot, but to feel like this is why God put breath in my body is such a blessing. My first principal used to say teachers do the Lord’s work. Although I knew that to be true, it didn’t feel like it until now. I am sure hard days will come but I will know I am pursuing God’s will for my life. I am grateful for my previous jobs and all the people I have met that have led me to this place, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My Pre-K babies will get to benefit from all that God has blessed me with.  

It may not be a job for you. It may be a hobby or a particular person. Whatever it is God is pushing you towards, don’t stop pursuing it. I applied to daycares after I graduated with my therapy degree to get income until I found a therapy job. I knew I wouldn’t be able to live on my own working as a daycare teacher but I knew it would be work I enjoyed. I almost started to believe I could not do work I enjoyed and afford to live, but God showed me otherwise. And if you remain faithful over the opportunities He gives you along the way, He’ll show you too.

Colossians 3:23-24 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ

August 2021

And to read more about me figuring things out and waiting on God, click here, here, and here.

Doing Single Well

Since becoming engaged, a friend of mine asked me for advice about navigating the world of dating/romance from a faith-based lens. I’ve told my fiancé more than once that since being in a relationship, I feel like I know even less about relationships than I did before getting into one. That sounds terrible but in this short time I have learned that every relationship is unique and it should be. But being single? I know that well. Of course, everyone’s single journey is different but as someone who boldly considered themselves chronically single, I’m not going to lie, I feel a bit like an expert.

I can’t tell you how to get a man. I got mine, so just be happy for me but I can share how to live happily single. I did it for quite some time and some moments were better than others but when I was out here living my best single life, I kept the following in mind:

My relationship status won’t determine the quality of my life.

Single, dating, divorced, engaged, married, whatever your relationship status is, good things are happening in your life and they are still going to happen. My mom always says, “one monkey don’t stop no show!” As a single woman, I still had goals to crush. I still had places to see. I still had friends to love and celebrate with and be celebrated by. I had songs to sing loudly and badly to in the car and in the shower. I had shows to watch. I had family to laugh with. I had a goddaughter who thought I was the best thing since sliced bread. I had a job that didn’t make me crazy (most days). I had a God to glorify. These are the things that made/make me happy and give quality to my life.

“My name is ____________ and I’m so very, fly oh my, it’s a little bit scary.”

That song was my anthem for a while (Pretty Girl Rock – Keri Hilson). Long ago one of my friends asked me if I thought I looked better than Beyonce. I hesitated to respond because I figured “no” was the “right answer,” but I knew it wasn’t my truth. I can’t remember what I said but understand, I certainly don’t think I look worse (interpret that as you will). Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I hope whatever you behold in the mirror, you see as beautiful. After all, if you don’t, why should anyone else? You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea and they won’t be yours (people tend to forget that part), and that’s okay. Some days you’ll feel yourself a bit more than others but deep down, you have to believe you are more than pretty enough. And not only that, you have a wonderful personality to go with what people see (hopefully). Looks may not be everything but you are a looker! You wear confidence well. Walk in that truth.

I am who I am.

And I’m wonderful. I’m a Christian. I’m independent. I laugh a lot. I like country music. I’m a giver. I’m an introvert. I’m constantly becoming the best version of myself. I am who I am and I embrace that person. I know for a fact there was more than one guy who passed me by because who I was didn’t align with what they were looking for. If I had been a little less independent, been more outgoing, didn’t love Jesus as much, we probably could of have something (at least for a few more weeks). But if it cost me myself, it was far too expensive. Don’t get me wrong, I tried to force certain situations and got my feelings hurt along the way, but when I finally tallied up the expense of it all, it was never worth it. I had/have so many flaws, but I was/am unwilling to negate all the amazing qualities I bring to any relationship I find myself in. In my singleness, I perfected being me; I truly learned to love her.

Sometimes we shame people for wanting to be in a relationship and wanting to be married and wanting to have kids. We tell them to just enjoy where they are because the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I’ve never wanted to be that person because I remember the countless prayers I prayed to God and moments when it felt like He didn’t hear me. I remember friends having to remind me I’m the prize. I remember joking with my friends that “this would be my year,” while hoping deep down inside it really would be. Two things can be true at the same time; you can be happily single and still desire to be in a relationship. You can catch flights and swipe right. You can look up first date questions and look up the home buying process. You can write a list of qualities you’re looking for in a spouse and write a list of ingredients you’ll need for a recipe you’re excited to make for yourself. Being single was beautiful and being engaged is beautiful. It’s not about the grass being greener but tending to whatever grass I find myself in.

While I believe God will give us the desires of our hearts, I also believe He intends for us to enjoy where we are.

Philippians 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

Ecclesiastes 5:18 Behold that which I have seen: it is good and comely for one to eat and to drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour that he taketh under the sun all the days of his life, which God giveth him: for it is his portion.

May 2021

Peace on an Island

I was having a conversation with my mom about the passing of my dad. My mom and I have always been close but now I truly cherish every moment I get to spend with her. Grieving the loss of Josh made me reflect on my trip to Hawaii with my mom. We were supposed to go last year for my 30th birthday but you know, Corona… So we rescheduled for this year and I’m glad we did. It was refreshing to disconnect from normal life and sit and do nothing in paradise. All my worries were casted into the Pacific Ocean. There was a stillness within me that made breathing easy. I had to return to life as I knew it but I still carry what I received on that island.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Before the Resurrection

“You got up so I could get up again.”
He is risen and I’m glad about it! Resurrection Sunday could not have come at a better time. The past month or so, I’ve felt like I’ve been running in place, not really getting anywhere. Work has been annoying, my allergies have been trying to take me out, and I’ve been having hard conversations with myself. Although there have been multiple bright spots, as a whole it still felt like blah.

Today reminded me that after Jesus was crucified, Saturday (or whatever day came before He rose) came and went. The day before Jesus rose, people were still sad and scared; they thought that’s where the story ended. Even though Jesus had already said what He said, Jesus’ disciples and followers, had no idea Resurrection Sunday was going to happen. They thought they’d just have to adapt to their new normal. But the waiting was all a part of the plan.

So perhaps this running in place does feel like Resurrection Eve, the longest Saturday ever, but I’ll trust God because the same power that got Jesus up from the grave, is the same power that lives in me. I’ll be like Noah and keeping building with no rain in the forecast. I’ll be like Mary and carry what God gave me. I’ll be like the woman with the issue of blood, pushing through the crowd to touch the helm of His garment. I’ll rise with victory. Happy Resurrection Day!

Luke 24:6‭-‬8 He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead! Remember what he told you back in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be betrayed into the hands of sinful men and be crucified, and that he would rise again on the third day.” Then they remembered that he had said this. (NLT)

Bright spot (March 2021)

A Year Later

A year ago we had no idea that life as we knew it was getting ready to change, drastically. I remember telling several people after the country shut down that we would be back to normal in two or so weeks. Surely this wouldn’t last longer than that… It was around month two I realized things were indeed not going back to normal and they probably never would.

A sincere panic (read here) set in. How was I going to function in this new world? I already didn’t care for virtual anything, now I was supposed to deal with it as my new normal? Well, yea. I have and so have you. If you had told me last year I would have survived teaching virtually a year, I would have called you a liar. If you had told me I wouldn’t be going to church for a year, I would have called you a liar. If you had told me I would be wearing a mask every time I walked into a building, I would have called you a liar. All of this seemed inconceivable but here I am living it out.

The devastation our world has experienced often times seems unfathomable, but God saw fit to keep us here. If I’ve learned nothing else this past year, I’ve learned the meaning of the saying “nothing is promised.” Nothing. Not events, not jobs, not income, not life. So even if we find ourselves in a similar situation another year from now, rest in knowing God is in control.

Matthew 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

February 2021

Walking Down Stairs

I was walking behind a little girl and her mother the other day. The little girl was holding a cup in one hand and her wallet in the other, and as she glided along this breezeway, she hummed along with the song that was playing overhead. When we got to a set of stairs, her humming stopped. Her glide became careful steps, one foot placed delicately in front of the other as she balanced her cup and wallet. Eventually, she called out to her mom to wait for her. Her mom seeing her struggle, grabbed the cup and held on to the little girl’s hand and off they went. The apprehension the little girl appeared to be holding on to was replaced by her mother’s hand. Walking down the stairs became as easy as walking down the breezeway.

Sometimes we’re juggling a million and one things and we’re juggling them well. We’re handling all our work responsibilities, our church commitments, our family obligations, all of it. But then we find ourselves faced with a staircase we must walk down. The very things we were able to do with ease, now appear to be a challenge. The ideas aren’t flowing like they once were, events are starting to overlap, sticking to the routine feels impossible. You’re still putting one foot in front of the other, but you’re scared you’re going to fall. I encourage you to let someone hold your cup for you; let them grab you by the hand and help lead you down the stairs.

We don’t have to do it all, all of the time, all by ourselves. God has someone there who is more than willing to help you.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

November 2020

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Well, kind of. Tomorrow the students in my district will return back to school virtually. I’ve technically been back a week (virtually), but tomorrow everything will be official, official. This is probably the most unprepared I’ve felt returning from Summer break. Thankfully, I’ll be able to do everything from the comfort of my home but there are so many unknowns. I’m nosey and like to know things before they happen, so this doesn’t sit well with me. But after talking to God and my coworkers and my friends and my family, I’ve decided it’s not going to be so bad. How do I know? Because I’ve decided it’s just not going to be.

I’ve also decided I’m going to set myself up for greatness and control what I can control. And I encourage you to do the same thing. I was always one of those people who said I could stay home by myself and be happy not going anywhere but this pandemic has shown that to be a lie. My home was/is my safe haven and comfort zone but now it’s become my workplace, and I don’t like that. I don’t have to like it but I have to deal with it, so my goal is to do the following to balance my life out a bit:

  1. Only do work in one area of my house
  2. Stop working at 6pm (I’ve already failed at this today, y’all pray for me)
  3. Get a schedule and keep a schedule while remaining flexible
  4. Schedule time to do nothing
  5. Read my bible
  6. Make spending time with family and friends a priority
  7. I can vent but I still have to get the job done
  8. Get out of the house (safely)

Whether you’ve been back at work for a while or maybe you never left or maybe you have no idea when you’ll return to work or when you’ll get another job, it’s necessary to take steps to create the life you strive to live, even under the strangest circumstances. God has full control and this pandemic is proof of that, if we needed any. He’s given us tools and people to help us navigate through uncertain times. You don’t have to suffer in silence. You don’t have to stay at a standstill. Decide that today will be better than yesterday and live like it. So even as I return back to a new normal, feeling completely out of control, I’ve decided my reality won’t be so bad.

Matthew 6:34 So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. (NLT)

May 2020

Give and Take

It’s difficult to see God as a giver of love when you feel like He ripped it away from you, pulled it from underneath you while you were floating on cloud nine. You quickly realized, there really is no sunshine when they’re gone. You were taught God is love but the evidence you possessed of that love has vanished so you’re forced to truly learn to believe in what you can’t see. You don’t do this overnight. There are times when it doesn’t feel like God’s for you. When you not only question if He’s love, but you start to wonder if He’s even good. These are dark days and long nights but time passes and things happen, and light starts to peak through. One smile turns into another and joy no longer feels like a stranger. You no longer equate proof with truth. God helps your unbelief. You find a way to have hope and wait patiently for what you don’t yet see. You cling to a faith you didn’t know you were capable of holding on to. And soon enough, God reminds you that He’s still who He said He was. That He’s good and He’s love. And He may take, but He certainly gives.

Keep believing in what you can’t see and one day you’ll look up and find love staring you in the face.

1 Corinthians 13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Breathe

Take a deep breath in, hold it, now let it out. Do it one more time. Take a deep breath in, hold it, now let it out. When’s the last time you stopped and simply breathed? Not because you have to in order to live, but just to remind yourself that you’re alive? That you’re here in this moment?

We have so much going on in our lives. Once we’re done with one thing, we’re on to the next. We’re securing the bag, doing the work of the Lord, accomplishing goals, achieving success. We’re holding our breaths waiting for the next best thing, never really living in the moment. If we’re not careful, we will have collected memories without experiencing them. Last night I went to a gospel concert and in the middle of worship, I took the time to breathe, to be present where I was. I didn’t worry about who was coming on stage next, I was there and could feel myself alive.

This week I’m encouraging you to breathe. Take a deep breath in, hold it, and let it out. We often think of needing to take a breath when life gets overwhelming and things aren’t going so good but be sure to breathe through the good times. They too deserve to be lived in.

Genesis 2:7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

October 2019

Living for Sunday

Sunday Best (June 2019)

I like church as much as the next person. My father figure always says I go to church more than he does and he’s a pastor (which is an over exaggeration). I enjoy getting dressed up for service on Sunday and always look forward to having a good time. For too many believers, though, this is where living begins and ends for them.

I’m of the belief, everyone should have a church home. A place where the Word of God is being taught with sound doctrine to go with it. A place where you feel at home and there are opportunities for fellowship. A place you can serve and be fed at the same time. I’m also of the belief, we are the church so wherever we go, people are able to see those same qualities within us, but we have to be willing to go somewhere. Some of you literally go to work and go to church. That’s it. I know that’s not the life God called me to live and I’m pretty sure He didn’t call you to that kind of living either.

Our worship shouldn’t be limited to Sunday morning service. It should be in the conversations we have, in the thoughts we think towards ourselves and others, in the park, in the car, at the festival, on vacation. You don’t get bonus points for showing up every Sunday. What are you doing the other six days of the week? Is your Sunday worship a reflection of your Friday night, 2am self? Do people see you and see the freedom Christ gives or do they look at you and see the bondage tradition (not religion), has you in?

I am heavily involved in my church. There are weeks I’m at my church 4 or 5 days out of the week. I only miss a handful of Sundays ever year and not too many bible studies. But I am determined to live a life that allows me to experience God outside of the sanctuary and I’m thankful to attend a church that not only preaches this but the members, young and old alike, live by it. Sundays are good, really good. But recognize the good in between your Sundays and live in it.

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.