Sundays With Rae

a blog for women by a woman who is trying to get her life together while still loving Jesus

You Might Need Stitches

I’ve gotten stitches once in my life (aside from minor dental procedures). Something about a glass table breaking and me getting a cut in my mouth. I don’t remember the incident but if I look inside my mouth, I can see the scar. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if my parents did nothing about the wound. Would it have ever closed? Would it have gotten infected and caused more damage? How much more pain would I have endured? What if they tried to put a band aid on it? Too often, we choose band aids, over stitches. We put a band aid on an open wound, only for weeks and months to go by and it’s worse than it was before. You find yourself in a lot more pain, causing more damage than there ever should have been.

Whether it was someone talking to you crazy, a loved one passing, a relationship ending, or a friend not showing up like you thought they would; we’ve all suffered some sort of hurt in relation to another person. We’ve been wounded. With some of these wounds, you pour hydrogen peroxide on it, slap a band aid on there and it’ll heal just fine. Maybe all it takes is a conversation with the person or saying a prayer, and you’re good to go. Other wounds require more extensive measure, like stitches, for the best possible outcome. Some of us have been shot in the face and we’re treating it like a skinned up knee.

People around us will encourage us to go get seen by a doctor, but we’ll say we’re okay. We’ve gotten use to the pain, and don’t even notice the damage is spreading. We just keep putting a new band aid on. We say we forgive but don’t really mean it and every argument is worse than the last. We say we’ll change but we don’t and keep getting the same results. We say we’ve gotten a handle on our grief but can’t tell you the last time we’ve felt joy. We say we’re over the break up but spend most days wondering what could have been. You need stitches, not band aid after band aid in the form of fake smiles, alcohol and drugs, and nice looking Sunday outfits.

What do these stitches look like? It’s always going to start with going to God, the greatest physician of them all. Wounds close, when we allow God to heal. We allow Him to stitch every part of our day. Wounds heal when we’re willing to follow whatever directions He gives. If He says to keep the area wrapped, we keep it wrapped. This may mean not saying everything you feel. If He says keep the area clean, we keep it clean. Be mindful of the thoughts you think and the company you keep. If He says rest, rest. Stop buying everything you can think of, trips included, to try to make yourself feel better. If He gives you an antibiotic prescription, take all of it. Read your Word and attend your local services, often. Wounds requiring stitches require more care and if you wish to be healed, you’ll see it was worth it.

And one last thing, your wound, is your wound. Maybe your friend went through a break up too, but she doesn’t seem as heart broken as you. It’s okay. The same injury can cause a different wound for different people. You just focus on knowing when YOU need a band aid and when you need stitches.

Psalms 103:2-4 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

July 2019

When Wounds Heal

Some wounds heal differently than others, the fibers take on a different pattern, making for different scars. And you learn to wear them as a badge of honor. What was once ugly, you now see as beautiful. The source of your pain, a distant memory. Every once in awhile you will run your fingers along the existence of one and be content with its presence. And every once in awhile you will run your fingers along the existence of another and forget to call it a badge of honor, you will forget its beauty, you will remember it in all its suffering. And the peace you made with it, will be a distant memory. This is to be expected because after all, some wounds heal differently than others.

I was watching Queen Sugar the other night (if you haven’t gotten pass the first season and don’t want me to ruin it for you, stop reading), and I want so badly for Darla and Ralph Angel to get back together. Even though they have had some really bad times, there have been good times, and I just want them to work out. But in watching them move as a couple and as individuals, I realize some wounds can’t just be patched up the way we want them to.

I thought about my dad and how even though most days are good days, this wound has not healed how I wanted it to. I can’t just bounce back because time has passed by. Our time here on earth together came to a sobering end, and it was followed by many dark days but thankfully some days the light drove out the darkness. The experience of it all has been engrafted to my being, just like the cells of new skin becomes intertwined with that of the old. And it is a part of me that makes me beautiful and I’m learning to see it as such.

My dad saw me just like Darla and Ralph Angel see Blue; the best part of him, the only thing he’s done good (well maybe not the only thing he’s done good, but certainly the best). Healing for me may be long stretches of tear free days coupled with moments of deep sadness bordering depression. But I’m more sure now than I was some years ago that I’m healing. And if this wound healing leaves me with a forever hole in my heart, I’m willing to see it as the most beautiful part of me.

Everything good in this world. (December 2012)

2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.